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I was in in the public restroom I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
A man entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
Homeless person said, 'I haven't had anything to
eat for two days.' I said, 'I wish I had your willpower.'
Roy Chubby Brown
“Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.”
“The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”